Comments on: Backstabbers

By: CB

CB — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:59:14 +0000

Backstabbing seems to be the losers way to gain ground at any company. The backstabber are usually insecure and many times feel they cannot compete with others. They are well aware of thier limits. And so they must take action to be made to feel more secure many times at anothers expense. The easisest way this is done is by building up enough trust with a person to get them to open up.

By: Jane Chin, PhD.

Jane Chin, PhD. — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:26:55 +0000

Peter,

I tried emailing you re: your above post, but my email bounced. Can you send me an email and let me know what address works for you?

My addy is janeychin(at)gmail(dot)com

Thanks,
Jane

By: Peter

Peter — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:56:55 +0000

I worked with someone who did the following to me:

Did not tell me about certain things. When I found out he said well you’ve done that job before so why cann’t I. I said next time tell me.

The second major intance was when I got the blame for something. I got shouted at by a senior person (who for all the money he earned didn’t bother to think for 3 seconds) for didn’t even ask what happend. I confronted this Back Stabber and proved to him it had to have been him. The senior manager kept quiet as he was embarrested that:a)He made a mistake + b) he made himself look an arsehole. He even went up a another senior collegue and said he had made a mistake (pitty he didn’t have the guts to tell me).

The third major occassion was when I received a phone call in the middle of the night/early hour. Yes, you guessed it, it was BackStabber. (I was living abroad at the time) I told him (politly) it is very late Back Stabber said he didn’t realise the time. I put the phone down.

A month later I got an email from someone which said something like,why are you miserable? I phoned this person up and asked what does this mean? He said that Back Stabber phoned you to see how you are and you told him to go away.I was fumming. I said to this guy,”Listen, he phoned me a in the middle of the night. Did he tell you that?”. This guy said know and kept silent. I told Back Stabber about this a year or so later (I should have reported him to senior people I could have proved he phoned me plus the email from the other guy proved something happend) and he denied it. I hope some bad happens to Back Stabber and his family. Something really, really terrible. Sometimes, just sometimes what goes around comes around. Why should arseholes like that get away at being dishonest?

By: Corinne

Corinne — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 02:43:55 +0000

I have worked for the same large company for a number of years, and have encountered the “phony friend” whom I work in close quarters with in a small group. I have tried many, many, many times to “air out” the situation, and hit that wall of denial, turning it around and blame. This person has ingratiated herself with the boss, and been “friends” with the boss for a long time as well. Even bosses before this one who have not put up with it think I am just complaining and don’t want to hear it, they just tell us to work it out amongst ourselves. I have never encountered a situation where this person has been made accountable for her behavior. A few times she has slipped up and gotten into trouble on her own, but even while I have been on a leave of absence the backstabbing continues, and I have to go back to wrk soon and face this person again. Changing jobs is not an option at this point. Silence doesn’t stop this person either, they make up their own garbage. I have just learned to live with it and avoid her as much as possible, she will never change.

By: Jane Chin » Blog Archive » Do Backstabbers Exist Because Backstabbing Works?

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 07:30:51 +0000

[...] or resentment to silently injure a coworker or another person. In the past I’ve talked about how to start dealing with backstabbers, where I suggest that calling out a backstabber may be an effective way to curtail a backstabber. [...]

By: Jane Chin, PhD.

Jane Chin, PhD. — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 17:58:19 +0000

The fact that you and your successor meeting a similar fate suggests that the CEO knows about the problem but either doesn’t care to do anything about his toxic-workplace causing nephew or is too scared to confront the family about him.

If this continues I’d be counting down the days when the company itself goes under a bus, or when the CEO finally does something before the CEO goes under a bus.

By: Another victim

Another victim — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:39:14 +0000

In my case the backstabber worked for me and was also the nephew of the CEO. When I accepted the position I was not made aware of the relationship. This person needed a lot of training but rejected hard work and chose to take numerous sick days instead. When he was at work he would literally sit around eating and browsing the net. It was demoralizing for my team who complained about favoritism. Eventually, he literally threw me under a bus. I was demoted immediately after I suggested he needed ‘encouragement’. I left the company soon after and since then the manager that replaced me was fired after she too refused to tolerate this brat’s behavior. This was a battle that could not be won. It has left me full of rage though. I wish I could publicly name and expose this work place backstabber.

By: Jane on Careers and Life » Blog Archive » Do Backstabbers Exist Because Backstabbing Works?

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 02:07:44 +0000

[...] Instead of confronting the situation openly, a backstabber would channel that anger or resentment to silently injure a coworker or another person. In the past I’ve talked about how to start dealing with backstabbers, where I recommend that calling out a backstabber may be an effective way to curtail a backstabber. Opening communication is like airing out an infection, sometimes you need to expose the wound and kill off the anaerobes before healing can take place. If the victim fumes in silence, will this create more fertile ground for backstabbers to build on? [...]