Comments on: Backstabbers http://janechin.com/backstabbers because I am important in the life of my child, I am shown the Secrets of the World Fri, 13 Jan 2012 23:27:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Eric Shoemaker http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-26461 Eric Shoemaker Mon, 15 Aug 2011 10:02:29 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-26461 I don't think so. The manager (so-called) sees an opportunity to spy on or keep an eye on the rest, so he or she then resorts to unethical tactics and playground antics. The Backstabber then is perfect for the job, for they not only hate others, but they hate themselves as well when there finally comes a day when the backstabber "stabs" someone they actually care about. But why did this come as a surprise to them? Because it's just a pathetic game to them and they never expected to care about anyone. This is why Judas Iscariot tried to hang himself, but ultimately failed when the branch broke and he was dashed to pieces on the rocks. Until the Backstabber runs across this scenario, they just keep getting away with it, which is why I don't quite agree with your response to "Sick of It", for he is right about that, the Backstabber seldom gets what he or she deserves. And the owners are so seldom around to see what the managers and those in HR are doing. This is why you're seeing an escalation in violence in the work place. Biblically speaking though, these kinds of people are likely "finished", for if remorse could have saved Judas, then he would have been saved, but that was not the case. Judas's have no chance in the end, their time is now and only now at least according to the scriptures. I guess if they are lucky, then one of the other religions will be correct, or there will be no God at all, but in the meantime, they will never again be trusted by those they have backstabbed. It only takes once for the victim not to care anymore. I don’t think so. The manager (so-called) sees an opportunity to spy on or keep an eye on the rest, so he or she then resorts to unethical tactics and playground antics. The Backstabber then is perfect for the job, for they not only hate others, but they hate themselves as well when there finally comes a day when the backstabber “stabs” someone they actually care about. But why did this come as a surprise to them? Because it’s just a pathetic game to them and they never expected to care about anyone. This is why Judas Iscariot tried to hang himself, but ultimately failed when the branch broke and he was dashed to pieces on the rocks. Until the Backstabber runs across this scenario, they just keep getting away with it, which is why I don’t quite agree with your response to “Sick of It”, for he is right about that, the Backstabber seldom gets what he or she deserves. And the owners are so seldom around to see what the managers and those in HR are doing. This is why you’re seeing an escalation in violence in the work place. Biblically speaking though, these kinds of people are likely “finished”, for if remorse could have saved Judas, then he would have been saved, but that was not the case. Judas’s have no chance in the end, their time is now and only now at least according to the scriptures. I guess if they are lucky, then one of the other religions will be correct, or there will be no God at all, but in the meantime, they will never again be trusted by those they have backstabbed. It only takes once for the victim not to care anymore.

]]> By: Jane Chin http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-26458 Jane Chin Sat, 13 Aug 2011 00:41:14 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-26458 I'm wondering if sometimes management prefer to ignore backstabbers because managers are scared of these people. We think that managers have more power than non-managers but when it comes to a person who has some pathological need to harm others and even take pleasure in watching the consequences -- well, I think most people managers included want to get away from that and not incur the backstabber's wrath either. I’m wondering if sometimes management prefer to ignore backstabbers because managers are scared of these people. We think that managers have more power than non-managers but when it comes to a person who has some pathological need to harm others and even take pleasure in watching the consequences — well, I think most people managers included want to get away from that and not incur the backstabber’s wrath either.

]]> By: Eric Shoemaker http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-26457 Eric Shoemaker Fri, 12 Aug 2011 16:44:45 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-26457 Corinne's account of the backstabber is very similar to the one I encountered, in fact, it is identical. For whatever reason, you can never trust this kind of person and they are never satisfied with backstabbing just one individual, for in my own case, I watched this backstabber stab several people in the back. And I was only there for 3 years. I not only saw the whole thing go down several times, but also knew it would happen to me someday. Was I in denial? Perhaps, but I just couldn't be the type of person who leans more towards paranoia and distrust than giving others the benefit of the doubt. I still believe that the best way to deal with the backstabber is to "exile" this person from your life and life's experiences, for not only can they never regain your trust, but they have nothing to offer anyway. Let it be for them, the backstabbers, as in a dreamy past, they saw you leave and never return. Corinne’s account of the backstabber is very similar to the one I encountered, in fact, it is identical. For whatever reason, you can never trust this kind of person and they are never satisfied with backstabbing just one individual, for in my own case, I watched this backstabber stab several people in the back. And I was only there for 3 years. I not only saw the whole thing go down several times, but also knew it would happen to me someday. Was I in denial? Perhaps, but I just couldn’t be the type of person who leans more towards paranoia and distrust than giving others the benefit of the doubt. I still believe that the best way to deal with the backstabber is to “exile” this person from your life and life’s experiences, for not only can they never regain your trust, but they have nothing to offer anyway. Let it be for them, the backstabbers, as in a dreamy past, they saw you leave and never return.

]]> By: Eric Shoemaker http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-24879 Eric Shoemaker Wed, 27 Oct 2010 08:57:04 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-24879 Backstabbers are not only insecure people, but they're people who give themselves over to "envy." According to the Bible, Backstabbers or Backbiters are to be "let go." In other words, you are to be more cautious in the first place on who you let in your "inner circle" and even at work, be cautious. The Bible makes it pretty clear to distance yourselves from these types of people. Two other interesting notes about this: The Bible says the Backbiter is "troubled in their own minds." So do not think they are getting away freely with this kind of behavior. The Bible also says they are deserving of death. So they're not going to be around. Need Proof? Jesus Christ took the high road and was not troubled. Judas Iscariot committed suicide. All Backstabbers and Backbiters are from Judas. If that one didn't get away, you need not worry yourselves that the others like him will get away. They will not. Now I realize that not everyone will believe the Bible on this matter, so let me give you a good secular source. "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli. In that work, Machiavelli warns against those who would flatter you. Flatterers are not your friends, they are the "phony friends" the Backstabbers. Backstabbers will almost always seek to gain your trust, and this usually involves some form or flattery on their part. It's very difficult to defend against because most people want to be accepted in their own little worlds. Machiavelli called this type of individual a poison difficult to deal with, but at least he gave us an "identifier." So when someone flatters you, perhaps more than usual, there should be Red Flags all over the place on your part. There you have it then, both the Bible and Machiavelli (a secular source) are not only warning you against these types of people, but at the same time, telling you to distance yourselves from them. Believe me, they will miss you more than you miss them. Sooner or later, life goes on and the people who wise up and are watching are going to notice that this person cannot be trusted. Moreover, the Backstabber can never again regain your trust. There's your victory. It's very difficult for the Backstabber to regain the Victim's trust again. When it happened to me two years ago, I distanced myself from those losers, and believe me, I have never looked back. These kinds of people can never be deserving of your friendship. Besides, if there is no 'trust', there isn't anything. These types of people may have won their minor victory, but in the long run, it will prove to be just that, very minor; certainly not worth losing a good friend over it. Remember, the Bible says they are troubled in their minds. Why? It's right there in front of you: sooner or later, they Backstab someone and lose that someone. That someone will no longer trust them, nor will they have anything to do with them. It must really suck to lose someone and know at the same time you cannot get them back because of something you did. Backstabbers are not only insecure people, but they’re people who give themselves over to “envy.”

According to the Bible, Backstabbers or Backbiters are to be “let go.” In other words, you are to be more cautious in the first place on who you let in your “inner circle” and even at work, be cautious. The Bible makes it pretty clear to distance yourselves from these types of people.

Two other interesting notes about this: The Bible says the Backbiter is “troubled in their own minds.” So do not think they are getting away freely with this kind of behavior. The Bible also says they are deserving of death. So they’re not going to be around.

Need Proof? Jesus Christ took the high road and was not troubled. Judas Iscariot committed suicide. All Backstabbers and Backbiters are from Judas. If that one didn’t get away, you need not worry yourselves that the others like him will get away. They will not.

Now I realize that not everyone will believe the Bible on this matter, so let me give you a good secular source. “The Prince” by Niccolo Machiavelli. In that work, Machiavelli warns against those who would flatter you. Flatterers are not your friends, they are the “phony friends” the Backstabbers. Backstabbers will almost always seek to gain your trust, and this usually involves some form or flattery on their part. It’s very difficult to defend against because most people want to be accepted in their own little worlds.

Machiavelli called this type of individual a poison difficult to deal with, but at least he gave us an “identifier.” So when someone flatters you, perhaps more than usual, there should be Red Flags all over the place on your part.

There you have it then, both the Bible and Machiavelli (a secular source) are not only warning you against these types of people, but at the same time, telling you to distance yourselves from them. Believe me, they will miss you more than you miss them. Sooner or later, life goes on and the people who wise up and are watching are going to notice that this person cannot be trusted.

Moreover, the Backstabber can never again regain your trust. There’s your victory. It’s very difficult for the Backstabber to regain the Victim’s trust again.

When it happened to me two years ago, I distanced myself from those losers, and believe me, I have never looked back. These kinds of people can never be deserving of your friendship. Besides, if there is no ‘trust’, there isn’t anything.

These types of people may have won their minor victory, but in the long run, it will prove to be just that, very minor; certainly not worth losing a good friend over it.

Remember, the Bible says they are troubled in their minds. Why? It’s right there in front of you: sooner or later, they Backstab someone and lose that someone. That someone will no longer trust them, nor will they have anything to do with them. It must really suck to lose someone and know at the same time you cannot get them back because of something you did.

]]> By: CB http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-13027 CB Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:59:14 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-13027 Backstabbing seems to be the losers way to gain ground at any company. The backstabber are usually insecure and many times feel they cannot compete with others. They are well aware of thier limits. And so they must take action to be made to feel more secure many times at anothers expense. The easisest way this is done is by building up enough trust with a person to get them to open up. Backstabbing seems to be the losers way to gain ground at any company. The backstabber are usually insecure and many times feel they cannot compete with others. They are well aware of thier limits. And so they must take action to be made to feel more secure many times at anothers expense. The easisest way this is done is by building up enough trust with a person to get them to open up.

]]> By: Jane Chin, PhD. http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-582 Jane Chin, PhD. Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:26:55 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-582 Peter, I tried emailing you re: your above post, but my email bounced. Can you send me an email and let me know what address works for you? My addy is janeychin(at)gmail(dot)com Thanks, Jane Peter,

I tried emailing you re: your above post, but my email bounced. Can you send me an email and let me know what address works for you?

My addy is janeychin(at)gmail(dot)com

Thanks,
Jane

]]> By: Peter http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-581 Peter Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:56:55 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-581 I worked with someone who did the following to me: Did not tell me about certain things. When I found out he said well you've done that job before so why cann't I. I said next time tell me. The second major intance was when I got the blame for something. I got shouted at by a senior person (who for all the money he earned didn't bother to think for 3 seconds) for didn't even ask what happend. I confronted this Back Stabber and proved to him it had to have been him. The senior manager kept quiet as he was embarrested that:a)He made a mistake + b) he made himself look an arsehole. He even went up a another senior collegue and said he had made a mistake (pitty he didn't have the guts to tell me). The third major occassion was when I received a phone call in the middle of the night/early hour. Yes, you guessed it, it was BackStabber. (I was living abroad at the time) I told him (politly) it is very late Back Stabber said he didn't realise the time. I put the phone down. A month later I got an email from someone which said something like,why are you miserable? I phoned this person up and asked what does this mean? He said that Back Stabber phoned you to see how you are and you told him to go away.I was fumming. I said to this guy,"Listen, he phoned me a in the middle of the night. Did he tell you that?". This guy said know and kept silent. I told Back Stabber about this a year or so later (I should have reported him to senior people I could have proved he phoned me plus the email from the other guy proved something happend) and he denied it. I hope some bad happens to Back Stabber and his family. Something really, really terrible. Sometimes, just sometimes what goes around comes around. Why should arseholes like that get away at being dishonest? I worked with someone who did the following to me:

Did not tell me about certain things. When I found out he said well you’ve done that job before so why cann’t I. I said next time tell me.

The second major intance was when I got the blame for something. I got shouted at by a senior person (who for all the money he earned didn’t bother to think for 3 seconds) for didn’t even ask what happend. I confronted this Back Stabber and proved to him it had to have been him. The senior manager kept quiet as he was embarrested that:a)He made a mistake + b) he made himself look an arsehole. He even went up a another senior collegue and said he had made a mistake (pitty he didn’t have the guts to tell me).

The third major occassion was when I received a phone call in the middle of the night/early hour. Yes, you guessed it, it was BackStabber. (I was living abroad at the time) I told him (politly) it is very late Back Stabber said he didn’t realise the time. I put the phone down.

A month later I got an email from someone which said something like,why are you miserable? I phoned this person up and asked what does this mean? He said that Back Stabber phoned you to see how you are and you told him to go away.I was fumming. I said to this guy,”Listen, he phoned me a in the middle of the night. Did he tell you that?”. This guy said know and kept silent. I told Back Stabber about this a year or so later (I should have reported him to senior people I could have proved he phoned me plus the email from the other guy proved something happend) and he denied it. I hope some bad happens to Back Stabber and his family. Something really, really terrible. Sometimes, just sometimes what goes around comes around. Why should arseholes like that get away at being dishonest?

]]> By: Corinne http://janechin.com/backstabbers/comment-page-1#comment-580 Corinne Sun, 09 Sep 2007 02:43:55 +0000 http://www.janechin.com/backstabbers/#comment-580 I have worked for the same large company for a number of years, and have encountered the "phony friend" whom I work in close quarters with in a small group. I have tried many, many, many times to "air out" the situation, and hit that wall of denial, turning it around and blame. This person has ingratiated herself with the boss, and been "friends" with the boss for a long time as well. Even bosses before this one who have not put up with it think I am just complaining and don't want to hear it, they just tell us to work it out amongst ourselves. I have never encountered a situation where this person has been made accountable for her behavior. A few times she has slipped up and gotten into trouble on her own, but even while I have been on a leave of absence the backstabbing continues, and I have to go back to wrk soon and face this person again. Changing jobs is not an option at this point. Silence doesn't stop this person either, they make up their own garbage. I have just learned to live with it and avoid her as much as possible, she will never change. I have worked for the same large company for a number of years, and have encountered the “phony friend” whom I work in close quarters with in a small group. I have tried many, many, many times to “air out” the situation, and hit that wall of denial, turning it around and blame. This person has ingratiated herself with the boss, and been “friends” with the boss for a long time as well. Even bosses before this one who have not put up with it think I am just complaining and don’t want to hear it, they just tell us to work it out amongst ourselves. I have never encountered a situation where this person has been made accountable for her behavior. A few times she has slipped up and gotten into trouble on her own, but even while I have been on a leave of absence the backstabbing continues, and I have to go back to wrk soon and face this person again. Changing jobs is not an option at this point. Silence doesn’t stop this person either, they make up their own garbage. I have just learned to live with it and avoid her as much as possible, she will never change.

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